Embraces
by Cocoa987
Summary: Because not all embraces are beautiful, and not all stories have happy endings.  Oneshot, T because I'm paranoid and this can be rather angsty.


It was four in the afternoon when she received the call.

Sadusky was already on her way to pick her up.

There had been an accident. Riley would be alright, but Ben was in critical care.

Nobody knew anything else.

She was waiting on the front porch when Sadusky drove up the long winding driveway, and she barely nodded at Hendricks as he trotted toward the house to keep an eye on things before Sadusky turned and raced back down the driveway to the hospital.

The entire way there, she was trying to remember the details of the last time she had seen Ben, down to the smallest thing.

He was wearing his contacts again- glasses wouldn't be a good idea when going into a cave. He was dressed in jeans and the shirt Abigail had got him for Christmas, a muted red that contrasted his jeans nicely. His sturdiest shoes were laced up tight in shoelaces that had been changed at least three times- Riley had rethreaded the laces the other day, passing it off as a joke but the three of them all silently agreed that they could use all the good luck they could get.

He had wrapped his arms around her, breath minty from brushing his teeth, skin cool on hers. He smelled of aftershave and books and something else that she could never place, something purely and undeniably Ben. He had whispered I love you into her ear, kissed her soundly in the way that always made her go weak in the knees, and hopped into the car with his best friend.

Sadusky tapped her on the shoulder, and she hopped out of the car numbly, heading straight for the hospital entrance. He fell in step behind her, and the pair darted through the doors and down the hallway to the waiting room.

Sadusky flashed his badge at the woman beside the door, and she pointed him down another hallway. Abigail started to follow him but he stopped her gently, barring her way stubbornly.

She could feel her lip quivering, as much as she tried to remain strong, and Sadusky sighed and placed his hands on her arms. The nurse looked away awkwardly and slipped through the door quietly.

"I'll just be a moment, Dr. Chase," he told her gently. She ducked her head in acknowledgement, fighting back the urge to push past him and find Ben herself. Sadusky let out another breath and pulled her closer to him, her arms wrapping around his back as she broke down quietly.

A sob escaped her throat as her arms closed around him, her chin resting on his shoulder. Sadusky patted her back gingerly, making uncertain noises but making no move to back away. Her hands rested loosely on his newly-starched shirt, crisply folded at the collar. His black dress shoes were faintly visible through her blurred vision. He held her close for a moment as she choked back another sob, and waited patiently as she fought for control.

She stepped back after a moment, dropping her arms but remaining well within reach. He dug in his pocket for a moment, pulling out his wallet and opening it before pulling out a handkerchief and offering it to her. As she wiped her eyes gingerly he refolded his wallet and placed it back in his pocket, the FBI badge gleaming for a split second as it hit the sharp light of the hospital. She offered the handkerchief back, but he refused with a smile, and she placed it in her own pocket.

He was still scarcely a foot away from her, and she glanced up at him- it was easy to forget how tall he was- with a shaky smile on her face.

"Thank you," she whispered softly, sniffing once more. He coughed and shuffled his feet awkwardly, mumbling something incomprehensible about how it wasn't a problem. She shook her head with a sad smile. He held the door open for her and waited as a small group of people walked out before speaking once more.

"I'll go and check on him, Abigail. I'm sure he'll be alright." She nodded bravely and straightened his tie- black silk- briskly. She stepped back to look him over, and he nodded toward the door encouragingly.

"Thank you," she told him again, and he smiled briefly before disappearing down the hallway.

She found herself a seat and rested her head against the wall with a sigh. Any other time she would be pacing, but the stress had worn her out. She dozed for a few moments before an argument down the hall broke through her daze.

"Sir, you have to get back in bed."

"I just need to see my friend, and then I'll-"

"Sir, you have three cracked ribs, you need to remain still-"

"I have to make sure he's all right-"

"Mr. Poole, I insist-"

"I need to find Ben-"

Her eyes flew open as the door crashed open and Riley burst through the door, followed by at least three nurses.

The nurses were arguing with him loudly, but his voice cut through all the noise as he pleaded with the secretary.

"Please, I need to find Ben Gates. I just have to see him. Nobody will tell me where he is!" He was breathing heavily, completely oblivious to anything else around him.

"Riley?" He jerked as if he'd been shot, staring at Abigail like she was a ghost.

"...Abby..." He stumbled toward her, staggering, a hand clutched to his side. The nurses swarmed them, but she waved them off impatiently.

"He's my brother," she managed to say before he reached her, and then his arms were locked around her and she focused on maneuvering them into a more secluded corner.

She held him at arm's length for only just a moment. He was still in his own clothes, torn and ragged and all-out filthy. HIs glasses hung askew, and his big blue eyes were glassy. He swallowed hard, his throat working visibly. He forced a smile onto his face, a mockery of his normal cheerfulness. "Hey," he croaked, his voice cracking over the syllable, and all at once his face crumpled and he collapsed into her arms shaking.

His arms reached up to circle her neck, pressing him as close to her as possible. Her arms lit around his waist, hanging on just as desperately as him. They clung to each other, fighting to catch their breaths in a sea of emotion.

She could feel Riley shaking, feel the cotton of his T-shirt under the always-present black hoodie, feel skin and sweat and tears, dirt, blood. His head was nestled under hers, glasses digging into her neck. She tilted her head toward his and tried to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks unsuccessfully.

After a few long moments she realized that he was mumbling something into her shirt front, and gently lifted her head, wiping her eyes impatiently and forcing herself to listen. "-and we were trapped in a cave and we couldn't get out and Ben fell and oh god Abby he was trapped but it was so far down and I couldn't go down there I was so scared and no one could hear me and-" he breathed and lifted his head to meet her eyes at last. The tears still lingered, drawing notice to the darkness under his eyes and the haunted look in his gaze.

"I couldn't go down there," he repeated thickly, blinking hard. "I was scared and he wasn't answering and I hurt so much and Abby- oh God," he ducked his head, bit his lip hard, fighting to regain his shattered control. "Abby- he wasn't answering when they loaded him into the ambulance- he never woke up-" he broke off again, looking at the wall before back to her. "I think Ben's dead, and it's all my fault. I couldn't save him, and he died, or he's dying, and it's all my fault and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry it's all my fault-"

She pulled him close again, close enough that his breath hitched as she pressed against his ribs, and it gave her the opportunity to whisper that it wasn't his fault, couldn't be his fault, would never be his fault never not _ever_. Their arms switched places, his around her waist and hers around his neck, and they stayed tangled together, whispering apologies and comforting words to each other for a moment longer, trapped in limbo while their best friend's fate hung in question.

She looked down at the floor, and half of Riley's shoelace was missing.

Sadusky walked into the waiting room just as Riley was ushered down the hall into an empty room. Abigail was left standing in the room alone, arms hanging at her sides. As he delivered the news quietly, her arms drifted upwards, crossing to give herself the ghost of an embrace.

**~Fin~**

_**You have two choices.**_

_**1. Ben is dead. That's right, I killed Ben. I feel so guilty right now.**_

_**2. Ben is NOT dead, and Riley has a concussion.**_

_**I lied, you have another choice.**_

_**Feel free to decide the pairing here. Be it A/B, A/S, or A/R.**_

_**I think you can tell who I was shipping…. ^-^ But anyway.**_

_**~Cocoa**_


End file.
